Real Life Dilbert Moments

I got this in an email from a friend and it was too funny to not share:

A magazine recently ran a “Dilbert Quotes” contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers.  These were voted the top quotes in corporate America :

• “As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards.  Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.”  
  (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA )

• “What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter.”  
  ( Lykes Lines Shipping)

•  ”E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data.  It should be used only for company business.” 
  (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

• “This project is so important we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it.” 
  (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

• “Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.”    
  (Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)    <—This is my personal favorite

•  ”No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We’ve been working on it for months.  Now go act busy for a few weeks and I’ll let you know when it’s time to tell them.”   
  (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

• Quote from the Boss: “Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.”
  (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

• “We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees.”   (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

Tags: funny

The Day of the Wolverine!

It is COLD outside.  And no, I don’t care if  weather we’re  experiencing here in the south is nothing compared to what the plains or the north sees in the winter.  I really don’t.  I’m a southerner and we’ve been hovering around the 30’s (on a good day) for a couple of weeks now, and in the teen’s (on the bad ones).

So when it get’s this cold, I have to pull out Wolverine:

Wolverine, as named by one of my good friends, is the one of the hats I purchased while visiting  NY last year in February (like a nut, talk about cold– that visit was downright painful at times, but I had a blast!!)  Wolverine was very good to me in NY and initially, I didn’t want to buy him because I knew I would never have a need for a fur trimmed hat with ear flaps in the the south. 

Boy was I wrong!

Wolverine has been getting steady action for well over a week now.  And I’m happy to report that I’ve not seen anything that even looks like my beloved Wolverine when I’m out and about.  Oh, I get stares, trust me, but I really don’t care.  My head is nice & warm and the cold wind is not blowing into my ears (which is quite painful). 

Tags: cute, fun

Happy New Year

It’s 2010 and it’s a new day!

I usually don’t set new year resolutions, but this year I decided to give it a try.  Plus, I tend to work better when I have a plan. 

So here goes, my two main resolutions for 2010 are:

1.  Start a regular exercise program- the goal here is not to lose weight, but to become a healthier me by getting in shape and toning up.  More energy is my ultimate motivation here. 

2.  De-stress and de-clutter- I don’t mean physically, although the hubby would say that I need to get rid of some of my books) but mentally.  I want to learn to not sweat the small stuff as much in 2010.  This also means cutting the dead weight.  God sends people into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.  As tough as it is when a season ends, or a reason is over, there’s no point in trying to hold on to something that’s no longer there.

3.  Get back on schedule- this goal works in tandem a bit with resolution #2.  Planning and scheduling will help me de-stress, but this one goes a bit bigger than that.  In 2009, I made a conscious effort to put away my planner (because I’ve been accused of being anal a time or two, can you believe that??   ) I was told this would help me relax more.  Did it? Ummm no!  Well, the experiment wasn’t a total waste.  I did learn that I don’t have to plot out every little thing that goes on in my world; however, things tend to go a bit smoother when I have a plan.

Peace and blessing to everyone in 2010.

Tags: resolutions

Oh My: The 7 Foods Experts Won’t Eat

Came across this article today.  I’ve posted the highlights below, but please check it out the article in it’s entirety here.

1.  Canned tomatoes-
“The resin linings of tin cans contain bisphenol-A, a synthetic estrogen that has been linked to ailments ranging  from reproductive problems to heart disease, diabetes, and obesity.”

2.  Corn-fed beef
“A recent comprehensive study conducted by the USDA and researchers from Clemson University  found  that compared with corn-fed beef, grass-fed beef is higher in beta-carotene, vitamin E, omega-3s, conjugated linoleic acid (CLA), calcium, magnesium, and potassium; lower in inflammatory omega-6s; and lower in saturated fats that have been linked to heart disease.”

3.  Microwave popcorn
“Chemicals, including perfluorooctanoic acid (PFOA), in the lining of the bag, are part of a class of compounds that may be linked to infertility in humans”

4.  Nonorganic potatoes
“Root vegetables absorb herbicides, pesticides, and fungicides that wind up in soil”

5.  Farmed Salmon
“farmed salmon is lower in vitamin D and higher in contaminants, including carcinogens, PCBs, brominated flame retardants, and pesticides such as dioxin and DDT.According to Carpenter, the most contaminated fish come from Northern Europe, which can be found on American menus. “You can only safely eat one of these salmon dinners every 5 months without increasing your risk of cancer,” says Carpenter, whose 2004 fish contamination study got broad media attention.”

6.  Milk produced with artificial hormones 
“Milk producers treat their dairy cattle with recombinant bovine growth hormone (rBGH or rBST, as it is also known) to boost milk production. But rBGH also increases udder infections and even pus in the milk.”

7.  Conventional apples
“They [apples] are individually grafted (descended from a single tree) so that each variety maintains its distinctive flavor. As such, apples don’t develop resistance to pests and are sprayed frequently.”

I knew some of this, but not all.  Scary, isn’t it.  Check out the article, they have some additional tips listed for you there.

Tags: hmm, interesting

Which Austen Herione Am I?

I was visiting a friend’s blog today and came across this quiz.  Curious, I took it.  I am not surprise at the results at all:

You are Elizabeth Bennet of Pride & Prejudice! You are intelligent, witty, and tremendously attractive. You have a good head on your shoulders, and oftentimes find yourself the lone beacon of reason in a sea of ridiculousness. You take great pleasure in many things. You are proficient in nearly all of them, though you will never own it. Lest you seem too perfect, you have a tendency toward prejudgement that serves you very ill indeed.

Take the Quiz here!

Tags: fun